First of all, I must express my disappointment. This:
did not give me instant knowledge of kung fu as I had hoped. Which is a sad sad story. In fact, it tasted just like all ramen does, with a slightly onion-y flavor. Which is interesting since is says nothing in english about being onion-y, but rather is, ahem, "oriental." In both French and Vietnamese, however, it is clear and to the point: Onion Noodles. But not kung fu noodles.
Second, our neighbor is a vampire. (Which I guess means I should have been eating kung fu garlic noodles). Yes, you are thinking of something else... a metaphor. Something like this. But there is no metaphor here. No. Our neighbor is a vampire. A vampyre. The undead. How do I know this? Because it is the only explanation. Here. I share with you my evidence:
a) There are never any lights on in the house. Not seldom. Not rarely. NEVER. We have lived here for a year, and the lights have never been on. EVER. We know, however, that they still have electricity because the doorbell glows in the darkness and their heater/AC unit is ALWAYS on, humming away.
b) We have almost never seen the neighbor(s), and never during the day, though we have lived here more than a year.
c) The neighbors, who appear to be elderly, live in an older suburban subdivision, do not own a car, never leave the house, and do not have food delivered. The closest grocery store is four miles away.
You are already starting to see that the vampire thing might really be true, yes? For months Mr. Dr. Birdcage and I have discussed the possiblity that our neighbors were really desicated corpses. We pondered whether or not we should call authorities of some sort. "Yes? Officer? We think our neighbors have died of natural causes and are currently moldering next door. Can you help?"
But then.... the most damning piece of evidence yet.
d) Recently, on a full moon night when we were in the midst of three days of very very strong winds, Mr. Dr. Birdcage heard a noise coming from our neighbor's back yard. A scratching noise. He snuck over to the fence and peered back there, and lo and behold, clear in the shining moonlight, our ancient neighbor was our in her back yard, in the dark, on a cold and blustery night.....raking leaves. I came home soon afterwards and witnessed the spectacle as well.... Who rakes leaves at night? I'll tell you who-- vampires, that's who!
See? Didn't I tell you? Totally freaky.
In other news, I'm packing for work travel. Again. Another fun week of fun ahead.